What Makes You More Attractive to Him

Does the following statement feel familiar to you?

“I don’t need a man to do anything for me. I feel more comfortable doing everything on my own. I like to be in control.”

If you are anything like how I was, your answer is yes.

I thought it would be very strong of me to never let a man do anything for me. I thought it would make me attractive to men.

“No you don’t need to come pick me up, I can drive myself.”

“It’s OK that if it’s -10 degrees outside, you sit in the car, I’ll pump the gasoline.”

“I can pay for my half of the bill.”

And the truth is, yes of course I could do any of the above. Nowadays we ladies can absolutely do anything. We have the financial freedom and have learned independence from a very early age.

This makes us women very very powerful at our jobs and other areas of life that require our masculine energy.

But does it help us when it comes to love and romance? I’m afraid not.

One of the guaranteed ways that men feel super attracted to their women and stay in love with them is when they know they can do things for their ladies – and in return they’d have happy women. Women who appreciate this masculine trait of theirs which they happen to be very proud of.

And on the contrary, when they feel like their presence in your lives doesn’t make a difference – when they feel that they are not needed – they feel useless and ultimately their attraction towards their partners fades away. As they feel less motivated, they offer to help us less – and we women start to feel resentful as we perceive them as lazy and unloving.

Allowing a man to step up and do things for you in your relationship is a very powerful feminine quality. When you allow a man to offer his help and advice, he feels that you trust and respect him. Both are on top of his list of what he needs from his romantic partner.

So do allow him to feel needed:

– Smile when he opens the door for you

– When he offers to bring you tea, say: yes, thank you!

– Allow him to carry the heavy grocery bags for you

– Let him drive

Trust me, he’ll love you for it. And remember while showing him he’s needed and appreciated, don’t ever come from a needy place.

A needy vibe would look like:

– You feel broken without him and your happiness depends on what he does for you.

– You need him to not have a life of his own and need his attention to be on you 100% of the times.

– You depend on him financially and emotionally.

This vibe is an absolute attraction killer, and will push him far away.

Remember that when your man is giving to you – when he puts gas in your car – gives you a foot massage – takes you out for dinner so you wouldn’t have to cook – this is him telling you: “let me fall more in love with you”. So please let him. Allow him to do things for you so he can feel more attracted to you.

Ways To Keep The Romance Alive

By keeping the romance alive in a relationship, you can ensure that your relationship passes the test of time and sees through even the most troublesome situations. Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate romance, but true romance lasts all through the year!

Let’s now run through some ways which would work towards making you feel that you just started the relationship afresh!


From the break of dawn right to the twilight, innumerable opportunities to express ourselves come across our ways – why not make it a point to make the most of them?

Some nonverbal cues would express your love for your partner. Or you could go ahead with the combination of a wink, kiss and a smile!


When you do something special for your partner, it would make his/her day! A fine idea in this regard is leaving a note on the fridge or the shower.

You could go for a sexy voicemail! You could send a card to work.

Consider breakfast in bed or flowers. Maybe a singing telegram to work!


When a relationship is young, there is some anxiety about your relationship with your new partner and some excitement as well. This takes the top priority in your life.

As the urgency leaves, we develop a sense of monotony and some complacency sets in. We tend to slip into our comfort zone.

So it becomes more difficult to find time for your partner, especially as one could be busy with his work, one might be taking care of his family or one could be feeling exhausted.

But a relationship is like a plant. It needs to be nurtured with love and figuring out some time together is essentially important!

So why not go ahead and make sure that you schedule some time, just for the both of you, every week! You may choose to check out a new movie or dine out. Maybe spend more time making a conversation or cook together. You could lie together on the couch – just focus on making each other a priority.


Choose to find time to run through some brochures or websites which offer a dream getaway in your vicinity. You may plan to visit in the future!


If one partner does all the planning and organizing, one might over time feel that the other partner is not enjoying it all that much!


The monotony which sets in with the passage of time could add a shade of dullness in your relationship. But there are ways to overcome this monotony.

When you start doing new things together, it releases oxytocin, a feel good hormone in the brain. So why not plan trip together, or every once in a while, you could take a day off to be with one another.


Be inventive and set the imagination running. Stare at the moon, for instance? Maybe throw a themed party?


Making conversation is just about one of the best ways to form a connection which is deep and meaningful. There are a thousand things about you that your partner wouldn’t know. Discuss your favorite things, and also dreams and passions.

Is There True Love?

We live in a world where love is based on security, material things, job, or what a person drives. Is there a true genuine love that we have missed or stumbled upon? Love is a rare gift that is often overlooked, pushed to the side or thrown way. Sometimes love is often misused or abused. Sometimes love is in our face we don’t recognize it because we have placed all kinds of stereotypes of what love should be. How can we ever know true love, the total essence or being of what a glimpse love is truly not.

What is the definition of true love? John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Wow! An everlasting love, a love that died for me and then gave me a gift. How was this love established? Oh my a crown of thorns was platted and pushed down on his head. He was mocked, spit upon, beat, kicked, knocked down. He was scourged, he was wounded and bruised. He was given a cross to carry, it became to heavy and then was picked a man out of the crowd Simon the Cyrene who would help him carry the cross. If that was not enough there was another destination, he was nailed in his hands both of them, nailed in his feet, both of them. The cross had to be lifted, put in the ground, then secured so they could torture him even more.

Once he was on the cross they mocked him even the more, he was crucified. Even in his moment of despair, destitution, agony he was thinking of others, he saw his mother, the disciple whom he loved,” he saith unto his mother, Woman behold, they son! Then saith him to the disciple, Behold thy mother. After this the disciple took her into his home. After this Jesus knew that all things were accomplished that the scriptures might be fulfilled. Jesus was thirsty, he was given a vinegar, they put it to his mouth. He received the vinegar, he said It is finished: and bowed his head and gave up the ghost. They wanted to break his legs but he were already dead. Instead they took a spear, pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water. Is there true love?

Jesus came on the scene and died for me and this world unselfishly! Who would not want to get to know a man like this that was capable of fulfilling something that we could not even come close to. A man that willingly left his family to bring us a gift that we would also gain eternal life. Salvation that cannot be found in other name than Jesus Christ. A true love that will never go out of style. A true love that you can read about in your homes with your family, your children and their children. A love story of pure, innocent blood being shed. The ultimate sacrifice of true love. To know this love first would teach you truly how to love someone else the way that it was meant. There is true love and it starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ.

How To Ensure You Are Never Hurt In Love

Have you been hurt due to infidelity of your partner or spouse? You are not the first one and nor will you be the last. Cheaters cut across country, ethnicity and race. They are found all over the world. You need to be careful about falling in love and be responsible about your own actions. You cannot control anyone. Everyone is a free spirit. However, to protect your heart and your feelings, here are some tips to ensure you are not the next one to be hurt in love:

• Never trust blindly. You will be the one who will be blindsided
• Think of yourself first and be selfish. Everyone comes after that
• Don’t marry the first person that you fall in love with- there are many out there that are better than him/her
• Don’t believe in fairy tale love- it only holds true in stories
• Cheaters will cheat- again and again. If not today, then it might hit you tomorrow. They don’t improve.
• Don’t be manipulated and stand emotional abuse. It is best to stay firm and end the relationship.
• Falling in love and staying in love are two different aspects. People change.
• Look out of signs- hiding the mobile phone, long business meetings and tours.
• Stay a little suspicious. It helps you notice more. However, don’t go overboard
• Just because you are true in the relationship, is no guarantee that your partner/spouse is on the same page
• There isn’t anything like true love. Only 1% people in the world might experience it. You feel you have it? Wait for a couple of more years.
• Accept the fact that your partner can cheat. He/she is only human. Being in denial or thinking ‘how could he/she do it to me’ will not help you but only keep hurting you longer.
• Learn to think about your own feelings and well-being first before anyone else’s.

These are just a few of the aspects that you need to accept, irrespective of whether you were left heartbroken at some point in time or are in a wonderful rosy relationship. Reality hits. And it hits badly. Being prepared for eventualities in life as helps you move on. Cheating and infidelity isn’t something new but when it hits you, you have a deep hurt that refuses to go away. So stay cautious when you give your love and heart to someone special. Good luck!

What Not To Tell The One You Love

A widely held belief about love and marriage is that partners should be totally open and honest with each other. We think that it is a sign of trust and genuine sharing to hide nothing from the one we love. But surprisingly, many marriage therapists and other experts in human relationships doubt that it is genuinely loving, wise – or moral – to be totally honest. On the basis of clinical experience and psychological expertise, they say that at times there are certain thoughts and feelings that you should keep to yourself or even lie about, if you truly love your partner.

Do you know what – and what not – to tell the one you love? And when? Test your own wisdom about love and honesty by answering these questions. Then see the conclusions of the distinguished panel of experts.

  1. Mrs. A is 30 centimeters shorter than her husband. She says to him “I’ll bet you wish I were one of those tall girls with long, slim legs.” She’s right, but should he admit it?
  2. Mr. B eats too fast and talks with food in his mouth. This embarrasses his wife in company. Should she tell him?
  3. Mrs. C has little interest in sex. She believes this result from a naturally low sex drive, not from a physical or emotional problem. Sorrowfully, she says to her husband “I’m sure you wish you had married someone sexier.” It’s true, but what should he say?
  4. In front of friends, Mrs. D comments on Mr. D’s meekness in dealing with salesman, neighbours, and his boss. She has a point, but he’s humiliated and angry. Should he tell her?
  5. Mrs. E is bothered by Mr. E’s single-handed control of their money and his refusal to share any homemaking chores. She knows he’s not selfish but merely old-fashioned. Should she tell him how annoyed she is by his attitude?
  6. At the beach, watching the young singles, Mr. F feels envious; he wishes he were one of them. His wife says, “A penny for your thoughts.” Should he admit he misses his bachelor days?
  7. Mrs. G enjoys sex with her husband only when she closes her eyes and imagines that he’s her favourite film actor. She feels ashamed about doing so. Should she tell him?
  8. Mr. H has a brief secret affair. It’s over, but he remains deeply guilt-ridden. He longs to tell his wife all and ask her forgiveness. Should he do so?
  9. Miss I and Mr. J are planning to marry. She never told him that in her teens she had an abortion. Should she tell him now?
  10. Mr. K has never revealed to his fiancée, Miss L, that in his teens he had a homosexual relationship that lasted several months. He is oppressed by guilt at not having told her. What should he do?
  11. Mr. M, a widower, has asked Mrs. N, a divorcee, to marry him. In a moment of great intimacy she whispers, “Do you love me as much as you loved her?” He doesn’t. Should he lie?
  12. Mrs. O has inoperable cancer and will probably die within the years. Mr. O is extremely depressed at the prospect of life without her and finds it painful to keep these feelings to himself. Should he unburden himself to her?

The modern view holds that there should be no secrets or lies between intimate partners. The panelists took the more complicated but common-sense position that the circumstances determine whether total honesty is wrong or right. Karl Scheibe pointed out that “fidelity to another person requires discretion, tact, protection, kindness, forbearance and sensitivity. These requirements are more complex than the simple principle of always telling ‘the truth’.” On the other hand, lies and secrets can easily create distance between partners. One must carefully weigh each case.Here’s how the panel applied these principles:

1. Mrs. A can’t do anything about the fact she’s short. For Mr. A to reveal his feelings would hurt her. Mr. A may have to elaborate the truth to meet his wife’s needs. Ray Fowler suggests an answer: “If I wanted someone like that, I’d have married someone like that. I didn’t I married you, and I love you as you are.” Several panelists said that Mr. A should stress the qualities in his wife that mean more to him than long legs.

2. Almost all the panelists agreed that Mrs. B should tell Mr. B how she feels about his eating habits. Several suggested that they’re faults he could correct, with good results for both of them. But as Ellen Berman pointed out, “The really tough part is how and when to tell. Not at an intimate, vulnerable moment. Not when the other person is already ‘down’. Not in middle of an ugly fight.” Robert Whitehurst stressed that “she should time it when he can handle it, when he’s feeling good about himself and the two of them.”

3, 4 and 5. In all three cases, the problem is one of a flaw in the relationship that might be corrected or compensated for. Mrs. C may be wrong that her sex drive is naturally low. Her husband ought to tell her how he feels and suggest that they seek professional help. Her sex drive might be increased or, as Albert Ellis noted, she might discover that “she could more enthusiastically and adeptly try various sex acts that will give both of them more pleasure.” But Ellis warned that telling such a truth is a good idea only if the wife is rational and realistic: “If she’s a strong self-blamer, he had better keep quiet.”

Nearly all panelists agreed that Mr. D should tell his wife how her public criticism makes him feel, though carefully choosing how and when he does so. Angrily expressing resentment often yields only a pitched battle.

Mrs. E may get her husband to relax – and share – his control of the family finances if she tells him how she feels without making it an all-out attack. As for getting him to lend a hand with household chores, Evelyn Duvall commented: “She should suggest one simple task she would like him to do, then express her appreciation for his help.” And take it from there.

6. The panel disagreed on this one. Several said that it was fine for Mr. F to have private thoughts about being a young single as long as they didn’t affect his wife’s well-being or his feelings for her. There’s a difference between secrecy and privacy, and no matter how intimate two people are, each deserves some private space. Most of those who said Mr. F should tell the truth said he should do so in a harmless way. Marcia Lasswell’s suggestion: “He could say, ‘I wish I were eighteen again.’ ”

7. Mrs. G should not tell about her sexual fantasies. Frederick Humphrey commented: “Sexual fantasies of this kind are often devastating to the other partner. Let Mrs. G enjoy her fantasies – privately.”

8. most panelists said that Mr. H should either bear the burden of his guilt about his affair or seek professional help. It could be unwise and unfair to shift his burden on to his wife. Tilla Vahanian commented: “Although the truth is rarely as painful as the barrier created by secrets, if the only reason to the reveal something is to unburden oneself without regard to the impact on one’s mate – as in this case – staying quiet may be more responsible.” David Mace added: “The ethic of honesty must always be subservient to the ethic of love. Where the confession of sexual infidelity might be devastating to the partner, the unfaithful partner should discuss the matter with a counsellor who can help him or her decide whether to confess.”

9 and 10. In both cases, many panelists felt that the truth need not be told. But one panelist said that the secret of the homosexual experience might have some bearing if Mr. K still has homosexual yearnings. Then the truth should be told to avoid future problems.

11. Nearly all panelists felt that Mr. M should not tell. Mrs. N cannot change the situation, and the truth can only hurt her. Many said that Mr. M should say that his love for his wife was different from his love for Mrs. N and that there’s no way to compare them.

12. This may be the most difficult case of all. Most panelists felt that Mr. O should tell Mrs. O how he feels, but some felt strongly that he should not tell her the full extent of his misery. Said Marcia Lasswell: “He ought not add to her burden – but she’d think something was wrong if he showed no apprehension or sorrow.” Karl Scheibe was more emphatic: “He should do all in his power to make her last year as happy as possible. She’ll understand that he’ll be grieved. He needn’t make her share the full force of his pain.”

Summing up the question of what – and what not – to tell the one you love, Douglas and Lynelle Hale-Sprenkle said: “It is not so much a case of whether to be truthful, but when and how – and in what way to be most loving.”

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Let Love Do What Love Does Best – Let It Encourage

EVERYDAY actions of love, of giving yourself to others because you can, have the effect of encouragement; a gift freely given that is always deserved, for love is God’s will.

The effect of love is encouragement whether it’s a word, an action or a prayer.

Let love do what love does best – it encourages, by giving, pouring itself out, spending itself for the betterment of others. It lifts spirits in times where consolation is needed. It builds poignancy to inspired moments adding largeness to them. It acts to augment unity between souls. It makes everything better.

Love is healing through encouragement.

Let us not question the motive of love. Some might say it comes from insecurity in you, and certainly that can be true. But as Jesus said, those who are not against Him are for Him (Mark 9:40), and there is never any harm done in love done as encouragement. So let grace abound! Why on earth would we interrogate the love that gives life? If it is given genuinely, and it will be discerned with shrewdness, it will be received, if the person receiving isn’t given to looking the gift horse in the mouth.

Love is genuine. It esteems itself as majesty and the intimacy it achieves always lifts souls within its touch. Love is its own gift, for the one who chooses to give what anyone can will receive even in the manner of their giving.

The love of encouragement is henceforth an obvious wisdom. Anyone who follows the Light of Life will light up lives.

True communities garner love. They nurture a culture of encouragement, one interaction at a time.

Living a Life of Loving-Kindness

We all tend to be so hard on ourselves. We hate when we slip and we end up slipping into a tirade of negative self-talk for days.

There are many ways that we can avoid such situations in our lives. Many times the physical situations are out of our control. Things happen! However, we can take steps to being as self-compassionate as possible so that what was a slip won’t turn into an inner war and rage.

Here are a few steps to live a life of loving kindness.

1. Be careful with the way you express anger

We are all so hard on ourselves. We expect perfection and never to fail. But this is so unrealistic. However, when you expect perfection, you get angry with yourself if you are not perfect.

To be at your best, it is of utmost importance that you cultivate compassion towards yourself. This can soften your heart and allow the odd slip up.

2. Don’t blame anybody

If we are angry, we usually blame someone else for our misfortunes or slip ups. Blame is something that is completely unnecessary. Instead of blaming, look at anger impartially. Act instead from your highest intentions. They are usually compassionate. Become mindful instead of blaming.

3. Try to cultivate gratefulness

Try and cultivate gratefulness with everything and everyone in your life. Our habitual tendency is to look past all the good things other have done for us and to instead focus on and replay every real and imagined slight. Finding time in your life to actively cultivate gratefulness is an important part of the practise of loving-kindness.

Gratefulness softens your heart and helps reduce your anger. Also, gratefulness seeds the soil to allow loving-kindness to grow naturally into joy and peace.

4. Choose Your Friends Wisely

Try not to choose to spend time with angry people. This can be very damaging to our own state of mind and it can serve to reinforce our own habit of anger. If instead you can help such people through your practise of loving-kindness, you should help them. Otherwise, when possible and appropriate, it is often best not to associate with them.

When people habitually indulge in anger, they destroy their opportunity to live in the peace and harmony. You need these two things to cultivate self-compassion for yourself and others.

5. Look at yourself honestly

Honest and mindful introspection is essential for truly integrating a life of loving-kindness. You must be willing to look at yourself, at your own motivations-especially when you experience anger and greed.

Make sure you ask yourself if you are acting selfishly. We all have a tendency to have a deep and unexamined belief that things should go the way we want them to and we get angry when they don’t. But most times, these feelings are selfish where we only take our own views and issues to heart.

By taking these steps, you will be striving to life a life of loving kindness. What a blessing such a life is!

In Love, But Not With Me

Do you dare crave what you cannot have? How do you deter dreams of someone that keeps visiting your heart? No matter how hard you try to resist them it only makes you love them more. Not seeing them is like mourning a death. Leaving you feeling empty and struggling to bounce back. Surely they will love you the same someday. But what if they don’t? No promises have been exchanged between you but hope isn’t relinquished. You want them so much that you wish you could suck up every hour of their day. When they demand their space you wish you could cry foul but honestly they never led you on. You do whatever it takes to keep them in your presence trying to encourage love from someone that considers you just a friend. You are not winning the battle to obtain their heart because it was never an option. How is it that someone can be just perfect for another but they will never find that out? Trying to close the door on one-sided love is a powerful feat to overcome. It can turn you into an emotional mess.

The mind is tricky and has a tendency to make us believe that everything the person we love do is exceptional. Everything they do is blown up on a monumental level. No one can talk you out of the fact that they are just ordinary people doing ordinary things. Nothing more, nothing less.

Love is the highlight of most people’s life. So how in the world could it let two people that should be together down? Blind folding them so they will never get a chance to see how beautiful a relationship between them could be. Instead the one that has so much to lose emotionally is left with a tear stained pillow whispering in the wee hours of the night about their loved and lost story. Obviously in time the deep felt heartache will lessen. But that’s no consolation when you’re going through the storm. Love is hard to give up on. But sometimes you have to wave the white flag when hope has become dismal.

Facing facts is sometimes brutal, but denial will only hold you prisoner. If there’s no indication that love is in the equation stop crying over self imposed pain. People don’t choose love, love chooses them. Just because you can see a happily ever after doesn’t someone else can see the same vision. We all wish we can end up with the one that floats our boat, but the chance of that happening could be slim to none. The sensible thing to do would be to recognize a no win situation and put that time and energy into someone that has your best interest at heart. So please don’t hold your heart hostage set it free. Never sit around waiting on someone that never asked you to. Love must be mutual or it will not work. Unfortunately people down through the years have sadly confessed, “I was in love with them, but they weren’t with me.”

He’ll Look at You Differently If You Do This

Do you feel like you need to look a certain way in order to attract the right man for you – or get more attention from your current man?

You may believe that most men – especially the good looking and successful ones – only want women who look like runway models and don’t want to settle for a woman who is considered average looking.

And you’re so not alone. Millions of women think they don’t fit their country’s beauty standards.

As a woman who used to only see her flaws in the mirror, I say I hear and feel you darling.

And I’m also here to give you the good news: It’s not true.

However here is what’s true: If you deep down believe that you are not pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough, you’ll often end up attracting people who would think the same about you.

You really don’t need to be so hard and critical on the way you look anymore in order to have a man to love the way you look.

Here is what helped me and can turn things around for you too:

Celebrate what’s unique about you

Although it’s okay to notice that another woman is very beautiful, comparing yourself to her is like expecting two flowers to look the same. A Lily and a Rose look so different, yet they are both so lovely in their own way. It’s ridiculous to expect them to look the same for them to be considered as beautiful.

Also don’t forget that someone might find a rose much more desirable than a Lily, while another feels the opposite.

When you truly embrace this and start viewing things this way, you begin to exude self-love and acceptance of a high confidence woman.

And as a result, the right man who are loving and appreciative of your unique beauty will take notice.

I certainly am not a size 2 and don’t fit into society standard of beauty, yet I frequently have high quality men notice me; and I never get tired of hearing my fiancé telling me how beautiful he thinks I am.

You have heard it often enough that confidence is key, and it’s so true. A woman whom in her core feels confident, talks, walks, and carries herself differently. There’s just something alluring about her, even if she doesn’t have the perfect nose, and her arms and thighs aren’t toned.

To men there is something so magnetic about a woman who simply does not care about what a man or anyone thinks about how she looks. And she draws the attention of men like bees to honey.

So from now on, start celebrating and appreciating what’s unique about you. Is it your eyes? Your hair? Your nails? Focus on your favorite features, be thankful for them, and smile in confidence that there is only one of you. And your man will love and adore every part of you, if you fully embrace your unique beautiful self.

Should You Wait to Express Your Love for Valentine’s Day?

Just imagine, you are in the middle of the year, say June and you have fallen in love with a close friend or a colleague. Wouldn’t you wish that June was February and race through the timeline of your life to reach the special day?

Well, do you believe in falling in love with the same person umpteen number of times?

That’s really a great feeling, after all. Love sprouts from the depths of your heart, can you restrict it in terms of time, date and the formalities of a calendar? Well, 14th February is just another date that comes with a sweet message-love him or love her.

Welcome to the sweet sensations that tinkle your emotions. Love does not call for a special day or a long-awaited date. It is a process, a timeless process that lives on spontaneity and mutual trust. In reality, you need not wait for the Valentine’s Day to come down the calendar and provide you with the all-important moment to propose him or her. Yes, it is a day to celebrate your love, have a close time and fall in love just once again! But you need not wait for the day to express your love.

Valentine’s Day provides us with social pleasure. When it comes to true love, time escapes fast! Never make the mistake of delaying your expressions. By the time 14th February comes creeping at your doorstep, it may be too late or your partner may have changed the channels. Maybe he or she will be reserved for the rest of the life!

Although people all over the world have grand plans for celebrating this day, these are all formalities of love. When you feel the love erupting from the core of your heart, feel free to express it to your partner. After all, love is not a by-product of life, meant to be served on an auspicious day in a palatable manner.

Well, celebrating your love once in a year might give your partner a different feeling. It’s just like waking up in the middle of a slumber and falling asleep for another year. Do you wake up to love him or her for just one day in a year?

Well, your partner may want you to propose him or her on that day. So, even if you have expressed your love earlier, make your partner feel the warmth. Tell him or her how deeply you love her and cherish the memories you have in snapshots. You may visit the same place where you first met or proposed him or her. Enjoy the old nostalgia in a new way and feel the warmth of love on valentine’s day.

To be simple and clear, if you love someone, be straight and outright. Do not waste your precious time waiting for the day to come. If you love truly, you can make a Valentine’s Day out every day in a year. In turn, you can reserve 14th February for a special date without any planning. Let it be the day for an unplanned outing by default.